The Birth of a Dream (part 1)

I think that, sometimes, well meaning churches really miss the point.  I’m not church bashing, I am simply making an observation.  In their desire to teach children to live for God, they use a reward system of some sort.  You get a reward for learning verses, a reward for bringing your Bible, a reward for bringing visitors, a reward for doing a “Christian deed,” etc. Some Bible clubs even encourage competition between children to bring the most visitors or memorize the most verses. And the kids that do those things or win the competitions are considered the “good Christian” kids.  That may seem innocent enough.  I mean after all, children are learning scripture, right? (That is debatable.  Ask those kids to say the same verse two weeks after they win the prize, and see how many can still say it.  Some will, but most will not.)  And if a visitor hears about Jesus, than the prize is worth it, right?  I mean the ends justify the means, right? But what are we really producing when we use this kind of system?  I cannot speak for everyone, but let me tell you what it produced in me, and in several of my childhood church mates.

When I attended church as a child,  if there was a competition, I won it.  I remember winning a bike one time for bringing the most visitors.  Another time, I won a plane ride over Augusta, GA for the same thing.  In the Bible club I was involved in, I won every award.  We even had shirts that we pinned our awards onto.  This was great for me, because then everyone could see how good I was.  And it worked.  People began to compliment me on how talented I was, and how God was going to use me one day.  I did not realize it at the time, but I began to think that my value as a person was based upon my performance at church.  My teachers were proud of me, my parents were proud of me, God was proud of me.  In my mind, doing the "right" things became the basis for my acceptance and approval.

Disclamer: I am not saying that this is the outcome of every child involved in this type of Bible club.  This is just my experience.   

I really stepped it up a notch when I entered the youth group.  I won almost every competition.  One year, a girl, my youth group rival, beat me in a points competition, and I was ticked. But I took it all in stride.  I worked harder and did more.  I worked in a bus ministry, helped in jr. church, went on church visitation, memorized more verses, did devotions, brought guests, all for the sake of earning points to win a competition.  And again, people patted me on the back and told me how much God was going to use me.

So during the years of my youth I learned what a “good” Christian does, how a “good” Christian dresses, how a “good” Christian serves.  And it produced a checklist based Christianity.  If I could check off these specific things that I am doing, than I am alright, and it was totally based on my performance for God.  But in all of the good things that I was doing, there was something greatly missing, something that was lacking in all of my Christian training: how to have a real, vibrant, close relationship with Jesus.

Sad to say, but nothing changed in college. I was no longer a kid, or a teenager, but a young man, still seeking acceptance and approval through performance.  And it worked, again.  The result? I placed my value and significance in my performance, and because I knew how to perform, I was pretty important to the kingdom of God.  Meanwhile, I never let anyone see the real Andy, for fear that they might not like him.  No one, not even my new bride, knew my fears, my struggles, my heart.

Three years after graduating college, I started Safe Harbor Baptist Church, without having a real, vibrant, close relationship with God.  No, I did what I had always done before.  I relied on my own talent, personality, and performance, and it was disastrous.  Worse even!!!  And when your value and significance is based on your ability to perform, then when you are not performing well, then you feel like a loser.  I was angry, frustrated, confused, and depressed.

God allowed me to continue down that path for a year, and then in His great love, He pulled the rug out from under me…

Now you may be thinking, “What does this have to do with your dream?”  Stay with me.  We are getting there.

"This is Crazy"

“This is crazy,” I said to my friend, Ben, as we ate chicken sandwiches at Zaxby’s.   Ben just laughed and said, “Yeah.”

Ben is one of my oldest and closest friends.  For as long as I can remember, Ben has been there for me.  When I got dumped by my high school girlfriend, it was Ben who called me up, took me to a movie, and tried to lift my spirits.  When I graduated from college, I rejected some pretty tempting ministry offers in order to move to Michigan to work as a youth pastor in a small country church.  Most everyone I knew thought I was making a huge mistake, but Ben never questioned me on my decision, but rather trusted that I was following God’s leading.  When I started the church in Traverse City, Ben and his wife Tabatha encouraged us, prayed for us, and supported us.  When we moved back to South Carolina (I grew up here), Ben and Tabatha welcomed us, accepted us, and loved us.  Ben and I have had some pretty intense conversations over the years.  In fact, apart from Crystal, Ben probably knows more about me than anyone else.

I continued, “I mean, we are making plans to move to Idaho in six weeks and I don’t know how we are going to do it.”

“When is your scheduled date for departure?” he asked.

“I don’t know, exactly.  We close on the sale of our house on the 15^th of June, and then we will leave a few days after that.  Well that’s the plan anyway.  But unless God provides a miracle, I really do not see how it can happen.  We are just trusting him, and moving forward.”  Then I laughed and said again “This is crazy.”

  Now I know that people move across the country all the time.  People get new jobs, or retire.  Others move to be closer to family, or further away.  It’s really pretty normal. 

But I do not have a job waiting for me.  We have no family or friends waiting to help us unpack.  We have no connections to Coeur ‘d alene, Idaho at all.  All we do have is the conviction in our spirits that our God is not just releasing us to go, but compelling us to go. And go now.

Now here’s the thing, I have thought this thing through and planned it out carefully.  Before I took my family to Idaho, I wanted to be financially prepared.  So while in South Carolina, I wanted to pay off all of our debt, buy a trustworthy vehicle, and save enough money to make the move, start a business, and have three months worth of living expenses.  Well, we have paid off our debt and paid cash for a reliable vehicle, and after we close on the house, we should have enough to make the trip.  But no matter how I crunch the numbers, I am not sure how we going to live once we get there.  Common sense says, “You are not ready.  Wait until to have all you need.  This is crazy.”  And I totally agree, except for one little problem, God has said, “Go.”  So do I trust common sense or do I trust the Creator of the universe? 

Now there are some who would say, “God would not ask you to do something like that.  Use wisdom.  Think about your family, your kids.  You need to wait.”

I wonder what Abraham’s friends and family told him as he was packing his bags to leave home:

“So where are you going Abe?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know.”

“I don’t know.  God said that he would show me.”

“Abe, this is crazy.”

How about Noah’s friends:

            “Hey Noah, what you building?”

            “A boat.”

            “Looks like a pretty big boat.  What are you putting on it?”

            “Animals.”

            “Animals?  Really? Why?”

            “Because it is going to rain.”

            “What’s rain?”

            “Water falling from the sky.  God is going to destroy the earth, and only the people and
                     animals on this boat will survive,”

            “Noah, This is crazy.”

I wonder what Gideon’s men thought as he reduced his army from 32,000 to 300. Or how did Joshua’s army feel when Joshua said they would defeat Jericho simply by walking around it.  In the Bible, God told his people to do some pretty crazy things.  And when they obeyed, God did the impossible for them and through them.  That is the God we serve today.  He still calls us to do crazy things, so that He can do the impossible.  In fact, God lives in the realm of the impossible, because that is where He receives the most glory.

I am not attempting anything quite as amazing as these great heroes of the faith.  I am simply answering the call of God and trusting him to provide what we need for the journey.  I am so excited to see all that God is going to do along the way.

A Journey of Faith

In the fall of 2008, I knew that my time as the pastor of Safe Harbor Baptist Church in Traverse City, MI was drawing to a close.  I had planted the church in September of 2003, and in those five years I watched God do some amazing things in the lives of those who attended our small, but growing church.  These people were like family to me.  We laughed together, cried together, learned together, grew together, basically did life together.  It was truly what I think a fellowship of believers should be-authentic.  I will talk more about this in another post, because it is an extremely important part of this journey, but for now it is suffice to say that I loved and continue to love those people dearly, and I would have been happy living out the rest of my days in Traverse City.

   So when God told me to prepare my family for a move, it was bittersweet.  You see, because of what God did in my heart in those five years, a new dream was born.  A dream that I knew would lead me away from the pastorate and Michigan, a dream that would take us out west. I did not know it in the fall of 2008 that out west meant Idaho, but I did know it meant away from the place and the people that were so dear to me.  Again, I will share more about this in another post.

In the spring of 2009, I announced to our church that we would be leaving.  I cried like a baby.  It was one of the hardest things I had ever done, but I knew it had to be done.  God had called us to start a ranch out west, and so we had to follow.  So in the fall of 2009, we moved…south.  That’s right.  South Carolina.  I know what you’re thinking.  That’s not west!  I felt the same way, but I’ll explain all of this in (you guessed it) another post.

So we have been in South Carolina for two and a half years, and in June we are moving again…this time out west, to Idaho, and I am pumped…mostly.  I am also a little nervous (another post.)  But this is a journey of faith for our family as we embark on “The Quest for Eleutheria.”

No, we are not moving to Eleutheria, Idaho.  We are headed to Coeur d’alene.  As far as I know there is no such place as Eleutheria, Idaho.  So allow me to explain to you the meaning of “eleutheria”.  In the bible, eleutheria is the Greek word for “freedom.”  “Freedom” is a beautiful word, and it has become a battle cry for Crystal and me.  Our desire is to see the children of our Great and mighty King live in the freedom that was granted to them when they received the blessed gift of forgiveness and salvation through our heroic deliverer, Jesus Christ. Freedom from the bondage of sin.  Freedom from the wounds of the past.  Freedom from the expectations of others.  Freedom to live out who you are in Christ.  Freedom to pursue your God-given purpose.  Freedom to walk with God.  Freedom to live in victory over the evil one.  Eleutheria-this is the message from God that we want to echo to the world and to the body of Christ.  This is what the ranch is all about.

As I have said, we are moving in June, but we do not have a ranch…yet.  I do have a plan and good intentions, but no ranch.  And that is okay.  In fact, that is the way it is supposed to be.  That is why this is a quest, a journey of faith.  I am not totally sure how God is going to provide a ranch for us.  I am not even totally sure how we are going to make it all the way to Idaho, but we are trusting our God, who has said, “It is time.  Go!”  And so I invite you to come along with us through this blog. Take this journey of faith with us, as we seek to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. 

 Now let me make a couple things very clear.  This is not a fund raising blog.  I will not send out pleas for support or ask you to give us anything.  Nor do I write this blog with the intent to seek to elevate my family in the sight of men.  Please know that this is not my heart.    

I do hope that several positive things come from this.  First of all, we have several friends who are genuinely excited and are praying for us, and this is a way to keep you informed about what is happening.  Secondly, I want to encourage others who have been given a dream by God.  As you see our journey unfold, I hope that it will strengthen you to begin or to continue to pursue your God given purpose.  Thirdly, if I know that I have a small cloud of witnesses following this blog, it will keep me from turning back when my faith is weak.  Most of all, I want people to see how big our God is as He performs miracles on our behalf during this journey.

I am going to be as transparent as I can possibly be.  You will know the good, the bad, and the ugly, well not much of the ugly.  But I will be open about our plans, our setbacks, our victories, our fears, our frustrations, the lessons we learn, and how we see God in it all.  I’m just going to keep it real.  This should be fun, I hope.  So, if you are ready, let’s embark on the quest for Eleutheria.