The Great Awakening

It is 10:30pm in Idaho, and a couple of hours ago, Barak Obama was just re-elected president, and I am very concerned about the ramifications of it all.  Now I know all of the spiritual sayings, “It doesn’t matter who is president, Jesus is still King,” and “I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do know who holds tomorrow.” And as true as those statements are, I’m just frankly not really feeling that spiritual right now.

 I’m actually pretty ticked, and I am looking for someone to blame for this colossal disaster.  I could blame the American people, or at least the 51% that are completely ignorant. Over 8% unemployment, 6 trillion in new debt, Obamacare, Benghazi, Bailouts…  And there are people who say to give him a chance to finish what he started. How many more nails can he put in the coffin? Seriously, the American people have spoken, and they have said, “Take care of us, because we cannot take care of ourselves.”  Those who believe in entitlement now outnumber those who believe in greatness.

I could blame my fellow Christians who actually voted for him.  I mean, are you kidding me?  I was on facebook, and a Christian lady was praising Jesus that Obama won.  What?  No way!!!  So we messaged back and forth a few times, and then I realized I was casting my pearl before swine.  Just let me say this, I do not understand how a son or daughter of the King can vote for someone whose beliefs and policies are in direct opposition to our King.  Come on!  Where does your loyalty lie?  I mean, I know that the president wants to give me food stamps and cell phones and green energy, but I doubt he’d be willing to pay my debt and die for my sin.  But my King did just that.

I could blame voter fraud, or the media, or Hurricane Sandy, or Satan, or anybody else, but none of it really makes me feel better.  Because when it is all said and done, I can sulk, I can complain, I can grumble…or I can take a long, hard look at the man in the mirror and say, “This is your fault.”

Someone once said, “All it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.”  And that’s what I have done-nothing.  Oh, I voted, and my wife voted.  But what did I do to affect the outcome of this election?  Frankly, Idaho would have been won by Romney whether I voted or not.  I guess in actuality, I am talking about something larger than one election; I am talking about affecting our culture.  And what have I done recently to affect our culture?  Not much at all.  So tonight is my wake up call.  God has given me a few of those in my life time, and I have found that when I answer them, they are life changing.

And I ask you to wake up too. The world needs us to wake up. But how do we do it?  How do we affect culture?  How do we change things and thus save this country? By bringing heaven to earth.  By expanding His kingdom here.  By showing this world the majesty and loveliness of our great King.  And it’s not going to be done in the four walls of a church.  It’s going to be done by us going out into the highways and hedges.  By reaching out to our lost neighbors, not beating them over the head with Christian principles, but by wooing them with the love of Jesus.  By touching the untouchable, by living lives of holiness and joy, by picking up those who have fallen, by putting aside foolish disagreements, by letting our light so shine, by having the courage to fulfill our God-given purpose, by speaking out against injustice, by speaking the truth in love, by forgiving one another, by setting our affections on things above, by finding our courage, by forsaking sin, by living as the royal sons and daughters of God.

When we do that, when we all do that, the world doesn’t stand a chance!!! Let us reclaim what we have lost.  Let us live our lives to please the One who has saved us and called us with a holy calling.  When we do, we will impact our culture beyond belief, and the next election will be a landslide, and the platform will be of our choosing.  It is time for a Great Awakening!!!

 

(By the way, I am no longer ticked…I’m pumped!!!)

Dream, Struggle, Victory

A few years ago, Crystal and I were members of a leadership development program.  We engaged in leadership seminars, read recommended books, and listened to audios, all for the purpose of growing our leadership skills.  The information that we received was valuable, and the implementation of the information has proven itself to be a priceless asset in both of our lives.  In fact, it was during our tenure with this fantastic group of leaders that the dream of the ranch was awakened and solidified in our hearts.  I know that the ranch is not a realization yet, but we have come a long way since we first began our journey of faith six years ago.  Time will not allow me to share all of the amazing things that we learned from the program, but in context to the ranch, allow me to share one.  A constant theme that we heard from the leadership seminars and the audios was simply this: “Dream, Struggle, Victory!”

“Nothing happens, but first a dream.”  I heard this said from stage too many times to count.  And how true it is!  Every successful business, every growing ministry, every championship team, every thriving marriage, every record broken, every beautiful work of art, every nation who has found freedom-it all started because someone or a group of someones had a dream of what could be and what should be.

Success in anything begins with a dream.  Show me someone who is a dreamer, and I will show you someone with unlimited potential.  However, show me someone who has stopped dreaming, given up on their dreams, or settled for less noble dreams, and I will show you someone who will never reach their potential, someone who will never be fulfilled, someone who will never be fully alive.

It all starts here!  I know too many people who have decided to live a “settle for” life.  At one time, they had a God-given dream burning inside of them, a yearning that could not be explained.  But then something happened.  They got knocked down, or ridiculed, or mocked.  They ran out of money, or failed.  They listened to the voice of the evil one who told them they weren’t good enough, or smart enough, or rich enough, or talented enough, and they settled for something lesser.  Maybe they fell victim to the comfort zone, sacrificing life and freedom for a security blanket.  I don’t know, but I pray that God awakens the dream inside of them.  I pray that He lights a flame in their hearts, that He would make them so dissatisfied with their comfort and stability that they would rather die chasing their dream than live half dead.

Let me say this to those of you who have lost the dream: the Dream Giver believes in You.  He placed that dream in your heart because He has a purpose for you, and He has equipped you with the power and ability to fulfill it.  You are His ambassador, His salt and light, His prince or princess, His workmanship.  He has bestowed upon you His power.  He has declared you righteous and holy, and His calling upon your life is holy and without repentance.  He has appointed this task to you, and if you do not fulfill it, no one will.

But your task does not end with the dream, it only starts there.  I know of many dreamers who never accomplish anything.  Not because they are bad people, but simply because they never do what is required to accomplish it.  There are some who may even start out, but once they realize how much work is involved or how hard it is, they turn back.  This is why I am warning you right now.  There will always be a struggle before the victory.  Don’t miss this point.   To miss this is to miss everything.  There will always be a struggle.  Dream, Struggle, Victory. 

Ever since Crystal and I made the decision to pursue our dream, we have faced struggles.  We have faced financial struggles.  We have faced ridicule from people who should have supported us.  We have dealt with heartbreak, sickness, and death.  We have had to uproot our family twice, taking our children away from their friends.  We have faced loneliness and isolation.  We have faced much uncertainty along the way.  Disappointment, discouragement, discomfort, and any other d-word you can possibly imagine.

We have now lived in Idaho for 2 months, and we are facing a whole new set of challenges.  I have started a window cleaning business that is growing at a very steady rate (I have 60 clients in just 6 weeks), but it has not yet grown to the capacity to cover all of our monthly bills.  We have struggled to find a place of worship.  We have visited 6 different local bodies, and we do not feel like we belong in any of them.  Because of this, we have not made many friends at all, one couple to be exact.  It has not been what we expected.  My kids are troopers, but I know that they miss their friends.  I have struggled within myself because I do not feel like I am doing anything right now to build the kingdom.  I do not feel fulfilled.  There are many days I long to head back to Michigan or even SC (never thought I’d say that.)  There are times when security and comfort sound so appealing.  

 It has not been easy, but it is not supposed to be easy.  If it were easy, everybody would do it.  It has been good, though.  You see, if it were easy, I could probably handle it on my own, and maybe not lean on my loving Heavenly Father.  If it were easy, it would come at too cheap a price, and I would not value it for the precious gift that it is.  If I could do it on my own, then others might honor me for my accomplishments.  God forbid.  Let the struggles come, so that when we persevere, others will be able to say, “Only God!!!”  God has done great things.  He has sustained us.  He has led us.  He has delivered us.  He has encouraged us.  He has provided for us. He has allowed us to cross paths with some amazing fellow warriors.  Only God!!!  He will keep you during the struggle and He will direct your way through the struggle.  So don’t turn back, and don’t look for easy.  Be strong and very courageous, for the Lord your God is with you, and victory is coming.

Our Part in This Tale

Yesterday, I was watching The Lord of the Rings, (yes, again!) and as Frodo was narrating, he said something that slapped me right upside the head.  “Bilbo once told me his part in this tale would end…”  Now, there are many statements in these movies that I find extremely profound, but this one had never really caught my attention before, until yesterday.  I skipped back to hear it again, “…his part in this tale would end…” 

You see, there is a great tale that has been unfolding since before the beginning of time.  And it has included every element that makes a great story: good vs. evil, romance, betrayal, wars, friendships, chivalry, deception, unlikely heroes, adventure, danger, hopelessness, sacrifice, deliverance, redemption, magic. It truly is amazing.  But here’s the coolest part: the Author saw fit to write you and me into that tale.  Not as casual observers, but with crucial roles to play.  I am not sure why He chose this place in the story to drop us into the saga, but here we are.  Some of you got here before me, others after, but we are all here right now, and thus the Author has a purpose behind it.

But this is what really got to me yesterday: our part in this tale will end.  My part will end. And here is the crazy part:  I know when it began-February 28^th, 1977.  And I know that I am still in the tale for now, but I have no idea whatsoever when my part in this tale will end.  It could be this week, or maybe next year.  Possibly, and hopefully, 60 years from now.  But it will end.  After all, our lives are but a vapor that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away.  This isn’t meant to be morbid, but is meant to be sobering.

God has placed each of us here for only a short time to do whatever it is He wants us to do.  Do we spend our days in hot pursuit of doing it?  Or have we allowed the cares of this world to distract our attentions?  Work, comfort, pleasures, fear, entertainment, security…you name it, and it has tripped up many a warrior who at one time set out to conquer this world for our great King.  And they come to the end of their part of the story, and frankly, there isn’t much to tell.  Their story is a tragedy.

But there are others, I am glad to say, who have discovered their purpose, have set their eyes on the prize, have drawn their swords, and are in hot pursuit of making sure that their time here is not wasted.  They are the modern day heroes in this story.  They are the ones who will have some great stories to tell after all the battles have been won and our foe meets his final doom.  They are the ones who will hear “Well Done, good and faithful servant.”

I really don’t know what makes the difference between the two groups.  Perhaps to the former, the spiritual realm seems more like a fairytale than reality.  Or maybe they haven’t seen themselves as significant players in this epic adventure.  In either case, they have failed to grab hold to the truth of what God’s Word says about this story and about them as characters in it.  Oh, that their eyes would be opened.

I desire to put my lot in with the latter group, those who live in a greater reality than what can be unveiled by the five senses.  Those who want to live for something eternal, who want their lives to count for something big.  Those who understand that their part in this tale will end, and they live to make sure that when it is all said and done, their part in the story is worth hearing about.

My Wife and Kids

(Written on Tuesday, August 14th)

My wife left us a week ago.  No, not for good.  On Tuesday, we received news that her grandfather passed away in Michigan.  Crystal really wanted to be there for her parents during this difficult time, so we bought a plane ticket online, and the next morning she flew out of Spokane.  It was a day filled with mixed emotions for all of us.  Crystal wanted to be with her family, but she did not want to leave us.  The kids and I really wanted her to be with her family, but we did not want her to leave us either.  A lot of tears were shed as she made her way to the plane, and we made our way back to the vehicle.  More tears were shed that night when she called before bedtime.

But it has been a really good week.  The kids and I have watched movies, played card games, stayed up late, gone shopping, ordered pizza.  We have had fun. Someone said to me in the store, “So you’re Mr. Mom this week?” I smiled graciously, but what I should have said was, “No, I am being dad!”  I don’t know where we got this idea that the care of the children’s needs rests solely on mom’s shoulders.  Sometimes I hear a guy say that he babysit the kids so that his wife could go shopping or out with the girls, and I think, “You’re not a baby sitter, you’re their father.  Man up!”

But that being said, let me say that over this past week I can see how much of an impact my wife has had on the lives of our children.  Mainly, because they have been easy.  My children are so good, so responsible, so kind to each other.  And that is because of the presence of an absolutely incredible lady that pours time and energy into them.  I have seen a little bit of her in each of them this week, and it has made me appreciate and love her all the more. 

Not only is Crystal an amazing mom, but she is also my best friend and most constant companion.  She is my advisor, cheerleader, prayer warrior, fellow soldier, teacher, and inspiration.  And talking to her on the phone just isn’t quite the same as looking into those beautiful blue eyes and seeing that great big smile.  And holding that phone just isn’t the same as holding her.  Yeah, I’ve missed her…a lot.   

We have counted down the days that Crystal returns to us, and I am so excited to say that in less than three hours we will be picking her up at the airport.  We will welcome her home with signs and flowers.  There will be hugs, kisses, laughter…and maybe even a few tears.

Always

Ok, first of all, please accept my deepest apologies.  I know that it has been two and a half weeks since my last post.  So much has happened since we have arrived in Idaho that I have barely had time to catch my breath.  That being said, I can tell you that I have been on a roller coaster ride emotionally since we arrived here.  I have been scared, excited, disappointed, angry, relaxed, anxious, peaceful, lonely, content, grateful, and empty…many times all in the same day.  And through it all, I have seen God provide in ways that I could not have foreseen or even begun to imagine.

On Thursday, July 20^th, as we descended the hill and rounded the curve on I-90, we caught our first glimpse of Lake Coeur d’Alene.  My first thought was, “Huh, I thought the water would be bluer.”  I got off on exit 15, and I had no idea where I was going, but the street led me to downtown.  As I drove around, I must say that it was not at all what I had expected.  The feeling of euphoria that I thought would reverberate through my body was not there.  I waited for it, but it never showed up.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a very nice town, but I just did not feel what I wanted to feel.  Of course, not knowing where anything was did not help my state of mind either.

We found a state park about thirty minutes south of town to camp at for the weekend.  Now, the drive to that place was beautiful.  Mountains on either side gave way to rolling farm pastures.  I began to picture my ranch sitting on one of those hills, and I began to get excited.  However, the excitement was short lived, because the reality of life was beginning to settle in with me.  The road trip family vacation was over, and I now had to figure out how I was going to provide for my family in this strange land. My wife’s family was still with us, which I found very comforting. 

But I still had some decisions to make.  I knew what God had promised us, that He would provide and take care of us, that He was leading us and would bless our obedience.  But this road trip had left me with little money in my pockets, barely enough to rent a house, and surely not enough to start my window cleaning business.  In my mind, my greatest dread about moving here was beginning to play out before me.  I was going to have to get two or three jobs, making very little money, in order to scrape by.  I have done that before as a youth pastor and as a pastor in small ministries.  And I surely did not want to start my new adventure in Idaho doing that, but I saw no other way.

On Saturday afternoon, Crystal, knowing the turmoil going on inside of me, told me to go for a walk down one of the trails at the campground and hash it out with God.  As I walked along the edge of the lake, I asked God what I should do, and he told me to call a friend of mine back home and present him with a business opportunity.  And so I did.  Actually, I sent him a text.  All I said was, “Hey, I have a business proposal for you.”  After few more texts and a couple of phone calls, my friend became an investor in the window cleaning business.  His investment allowed me to rent a house, furnish it, get everything I needed to start the business, and pay the bills until the business is up and going.  I felt so honored when he said, “I am not investing in window cleaning, I am investing in you.”

On Monday, we found a campsite closer to town, and began the process of finding a house.  We filled out an application for a house on Tuesday, planning to move in the next day.  So Wednesday came, and my in-laws left to go back to Michigan.  As they pulled off, a huge sense of loneliness permeated my being.  I mean, we were, after all, alone.  But I also knew that getting into a house would bring some normality back to our lives. 

“Your application has been denied.”  That was the call we got from the property management company.  “Even though you have money in the bank, the home owners are concerned that you do not have a steady income.”  So back to square one.  I was so disappointed, not because I loved the house.  I mean, it was a fine house, but it was nothing special.  I was upset because it meant more time looking, more time before we could get settled, more time before I could concentrate on my business.   I guess I was a little frustrated that God didn’t just take care of it for us.

And then we saw an ad on craigslist for a house, and the pictures were awesome.  Crystal called on it, and the realtor told us that the other tenants were still living in it, and that their lease was not up until the end of August, but that they might be able to move out a little early.  Well, I ruled it out immediately.  I told Crystal that there was no way we were going to camp out for another month, or even two or three weeks.  Crystal said that we should at least look at it.  And so we did, and we all loved it.  The agent said that the tenants could be out in less than a week.  We filled out the application, and  were approved.  So after camping out for a few more nights, on Tuesday, the 31^st, we moved into an absolutely beautiful house.  God said “no” to something decent in order to say “yes” to something wonderful.  (And silly me was frustrated.)

Meanwhile, during this time I have been preparing for the business; getting licensing, buying uniforms, ordering equipment, etc.  By the end of this week, I should be ready for business. We are also becoming acclimated to the area, and every day, we discover something else that we like about it.  The people here are extremely friendly, and the landscape really is beautiful.  I am so glad that we are here.

That is the last couple of weeks in a nutshell.  God is so amazing in all of the different ways He provides for us.  Sometimes, He simply gives us what we need. Sometimes He speaks to us, and tells us what we must do to get what we need.  Sometimes He gives us the ability and the means to accomplish the thing we need.  And sometimes He says “no” to what we think we need, so that He can give us what we really need.  No matter what way He chooses to provide, one thing is constant: He does always provide!

   

Wild and Witty

Another Day.  Another City.  Another campground.  Three nights ago, we camped in Deadwood, SD after spending the day in Mt. Rushmore.  I spent the last two nights at a campground in Cody, Wyoming.  We did not travel at all yesterday; it was a nice break.  Not a planned break, but a nice one (I’ll tell you more about that in a minute.)  Today we traveled through Montana, and we are stopped in Missoula for the night. 

So how do I describe the scenery?  In a word-breathtaking.  Crystal has to keep reminding me to keep my eyes on the road.  Each mountain range is so unique.  Some are nothing but cliffs of rock.  Others are like rolling grassy hills.  In the distance, you can see snow capped mountains.  The evergreen covered mountains are my favorite.  The Black Hills near Rushmore are blanketed by them.  The sky is huge.  You can see a storm rolling in from miles away.  And at night, the stars dance.  And the rivers are white, as the currents pass over huge rocks and boulders.  As we ascend a mountain, driving over hills and around curves, you can look out and see beautiful valleys. 

 Two days ago, while driving to Cody, we passed over the Big Horn mountains.  Out of everything I’ve seen thus far, that has been the pinnacle.  The beauty of those mountains-wow.  Our God is an artist, and this world is His canvas.  He is so creative, so wild!  Have you ever thought of God that way-creative and wild?  Look around you.  Watch a stallion run, or gaze at a fire as it dances, or drive on a road carved out on the side of a rugged mountain.  And then realize that it was all His idea.

Anyway, I had begun my descent, all 18 miles of it, and I was enjoying every moment, drinking in the beauty of it all…until I realized that my trailer brakes had stopped working.  Not good. I am descending a steep, extremely curvy mountain, with no trailer brakes, and my Tahoe brakes were feeling spongy under my feet.  So I pulled over onto a scenic overlook, and my father-in-law pulled in behind me  When I got out of my vehicle, I noticed that the rear brakes on my Tahoe were smoking.  Without going into too much detail, about three hours later, while our families sat at a roadside diner called Dirty Annie’s, Crystal’s dad and I slooooooowly drove my Tahoe down the mountain.  By the time we were ready to move my vehicle, the brakes had cooled down and we had no problems getting it to the bottom.  Still, it is just a little unnerving rounding sharp curves with less than reliable brakes and only a guard rail separating you from the edge of the cliff. We spent the next day fixing my trailer brakes at a campground in Cody.  But I learned a valuable lesson: when you are descending a steep mountain and the sign says “Use Lower Gear,” third gear is not low enough.

Well, we are only about 150 miles from Coeur d’ Alene.  A roadtrip that started 15 days ago, will end tomorrow, but the adventure is just beginning.  It is exciting and frightening all at the same time.  I mean, we really need to see God come through and so some amazing things. But it seems as though God is always reassuring me of His promises to me.  Sometimes it's through provision.  Sometimes it’s through His Word.  Sometimes it’s through the encouragement of a friend.  And sometimes, it’s through a still, small voice.  Last night, in Cody, I was feeling anxious about all that still needed to happen.  I stepped out of my tent, looked up, and gazed at the stars in the vast night sky.  And the Artist who spoke them into being asked, “And you’re still wondering if I can take care of you?”  Noy only is He wild, but He is also witty. 

Weary Traveler

It is a little past 10pm (mountain time) on Saturday evening, and I am lying in a tent at a campground in Rapid City, SD.  My kids were asleep before they hit the mat tonight.  My little adventurers are exhausted.  We have been very busy since we left Traverse City four days ago. 

Let’s see, we met up with my in-laws in Michigan’s upper peninsula.  They chose to spend their family vacation traveling with us.  So we drove all day, and found a campground for the night.  The next morning, we bathed in Lake Superior, the coldest of the Great Lakes, and we spent most of the day driving to Minnesota to another campground.  Yesterday, we spent most of the day at Mall of America.  My three oldest all rode their first roller coasters.  And I pretty much decided that the “thrill” of thrill rides no longer excites me.  After we left the mall, we drove late into the night and stopped at a truck stop close to midnight.  My Tahoe is not quite as spacious as a hotel room or even my tent, but I managed to get a little rest.

Left the truck stop at 7 am this morning, headed to Rapid City.  But we took our time and stopped at few attractions. as we traveled.  We went to a place called 1880 Town.  I almost didn’t buy tickets, but so glad that I did.  It was really cool to see this town, walk into its buildings, and think about the people who left security to go west and make a life for themselves and their families.  Many of them never seeing their friends or loved ones again.  They did not know what they would face, whether sickness, bandits, poverty, or whatever.  What courage and strength they had!  We also took a scenic tour through the badlands.  Amazing!   We stopped several times along the way to take pictures, and my kids spent some time climbing the rocks.  Tomorrow, we head to Mt, Rushmore, then onward to Yellowstone. 

As I write, I feel somewhat like a weary traveler.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have greatly enjoyed this road trip with my in-laws, and this time with my wife and kids is priceless.  The beauty of this great country takes my breath away.  But I am ready to have a place to call home.  I think that is why it was so hard leaving Traverse City a few days ago.  That place was home to me.  Even when I moved back to South Carolina, TC was still home.  SC was just a part of the journey. Albeit an extremely vital part, but I knew when I arrived there that I was just passing through.  Returning to Traverse City was like going back to all the comforts, familiarities, friendships, and beauties of home.

Arriving in Coeur d’alene will be much different, I think.  I will know nobody.  I will have to find a house when we get there, and a church.  I am still not 100% sure what I am going to do for work.  I have so many questions streaming in my mind.  So the security of a place like Traverse City can be very alluring in the midst of all the uncertainty.  But I still hold to the promise that God is going to take care of us, and that is all that really drives me now.  That, and the fact that I believe this journey is part of what I am supposed to bring to the world.  I can’t really explain it, but I feel like our journey will be a catalyst for others who dare to dream big.  And so I move forward.  This quest for Eleutheria is not without its doubts and fears, no quest is.  But My King is faithful, and He will complete the work He has started in us.

While we were driving around Lake Superior, we passed by a marina filled with boats, and Crystal said something to me that totally renewed my resolve.  It was actually a quote from bestselling author, Chris Brady.  “Ships are safe in the harbor, but they are not made for the harbor.  Good sailors are not made on calm seas.”    And so we are sailing in some uncharted waters, and it is not always smooth sailing, but the Captain of my vessel is leading us.  And we will arrive at our destination, and we will be stronger for having made the journey.  And we will have some struggles, and we will have some setbacks, and we will meet new people, and we forge new friendships, and we will make this unknown territory into a home.

                                                                                                                                                           

   

The Pilgrimage

I am back where it all began.  Traverse City, MI.  We had made plans to come this way on our journey.  Yes, it added 700 miles onto our trip, but no distance would have been too far. It was kind of like a pilgrimage for us.  My family needed this.  I needed this.  And to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to leave.

There is no place on this earth as dear to me as Traverse City, MI.  It is where I first came alive.  It is where I stripped off the façade and began my journey to authenticity.  It is the first place I felt truly accepted.  It is where I experienced true community.  It is where I first learned how to know God and walk with Him.  It is where I became me.

There is a special beauty and comfort that I find here.  On Saturday evening, I was in Elk Rapids, standing on the edge of the Grand Traverse Bay.  It was about 10 pm; and the sun had just set.  Hues of pink, orange, and blue filled the sky.  A cool breeze was blowing, and I closed my eyes, lifted my face to the sky, and wondered to myself, “So why did I leave here again?”

As we reconnected with people, we were not just visiting friends; we are reuniting with family.  And the time has flown by. Two and a half days is simply not enough time.  You see, I actually expected this to be different.  I thought that we would come, catch up with a few friends, talk about old times, share some memories, and realize that as much as we love this place, it is not what it once was.  It would no longer feel like home.  But I was wrong.  I am crying as I think about having to say goodbye to this place and these precious people again.

I could easily settle down here again, except for two things.  First of all, as much as I love this place, we know the dream God has placed upon our hearts. And we know that, for now anyway, our path leads to Idaho.  We cannot lay aside God’s calling simply for the sake of comfort and security.  We must persevere, continue down the road that has been paved for us by God, trusting His heart and His promises.

Secondly, my friends would not let me stop here even if I wanted to.  I have awesome friends, and so many of them have bought in to our dream.  They have supported us, encouraged us, prayed for us, helped us, and they will not let us settle for anything less than God’s best. 

And so today, we will continue on our journey, having been strengthened by our dear friends, and reminded of the wonderful grace of God, and the mighty work that He did in us here.  And I will carry that with me forever.  And I will cry …a lot.  We all will.

No Small Thing

I am sitting at a table on the wraparound porch at my in-laws farm house.  After three days of travel, it is nice to have a “do nothing” day.  We will leave here tomorrow for Traverse City to see friends for a couple of days, and then we take a hard left that will lead us to Idaho.

It has been a great journey so far.  For those of you who were worrying, you will pleased to hear that Crystal and I made it all the way from South Carolina to Michigan without one argument.  Not even a small one.  We left on Tuesday after lunch, drove to Virginia and stopped for the night.  Wednesday, we drove to Ohio, and spent the night at a dairy farm.  Elmer and Carolyn are the parents of our good friend, Noah, in South Carolina. Noah’s wife, Emily, encouraged us to stop there on our journey, promising us that we would leave encouraged and refreshed.  How right she was!  We spent Wednesday evening, sitting around the picnic table, just talking about our great God and how He works in the lives of His people.  Then they took us to the Wooster fireworks show, that was supposed to start at 10 pm, but that actually started at 9:30 because rain was moving into the area.  So we watched the grand finale  from a distance as we were driving to the show.  But I was totally cool with that, less traffic to deal with.

The next morning, Emily’s mom, Barb, and her husband, Larry, joined us for breakfast, and we all took a tour of the farm together.  (Homeschool field trip).  Before we left, we all formed a circle, held hands, and these two special couples spent some time praying over us, our family, our journey, and our future ministry.

 You know, when someone used to say to me, “I’ll be praying for you,” I never really gave it much thought.  It was a nice sentiment and all, but those words never really impacted me.  But over the past couple of years, and especially the past few months, that one statement has become so dear to me.  Especially when I know that the person saying it actually means it.  What I like even more is when someone says, “We want to pray over you right now.”  It is so precious to me when people that I respect, admire, and love put their hands on our heads or shoulders, and ask God to pour out His provision, power, and blessing upon us. To fellowship with them around the throne of grace- WOW!  How awesome is that?  I have been encouraged and challenged by all of the prayers prayed over us regarding our quest.

We arrived at my in-law’s house at about 7:30 last night.  Actual drive time from SC to here-about twenty hours.  Without hauling a huge trailer, this would be a fourteen hour trip.  Needless to say, I am driving at a much slower pace with the trailer.  Instead of my usual 75-80 mph’s, I am driving at the astounding rate of 45-55 mph’s, with downhill gusts of 65.  I kind of feel like the tortoise from the children’s story, “Slow and steady wins the race.”  That’s’ okay, though.  I had determined before we ever drove our first mile that I was going to take it slow, and that we would arrive precisely when God means for us to.  And it has actually been rather relaxing.  I don’t have any deadlines.  I am not trying to break my speed record from the last trip.  We stop when we want to.  I have not been impatient.  My wife can tell you that that alone is a good moral victory for me. 

I know that we still have many miles to go; we are only about a quarter of the way to our destination, but our mighty Captain has been so faithful thus far.  Of course, I expected nothing different.  The trailer, which was probably my greatest concern, is traveling beautifully.  My kids are traveling even better.   Man, they are troopers; I am so proud of them.

 And here’s the really cool thing, I have not paid one penny out of my pocket.  My expenses thus far, including gas, hotel, food, and numerous coffee breaks, total about $520.  But before we left SC, we started receiving farewell cards and gifts.  $20, $100, $50, $250, $160, a $50 gas card, Starbucks gift cards.  We made it from South Carolina to Michigan without spending any of our own money.  Not only that, but God has also provided other things.  A friend gave us a hand held video recorder.  Someone paid for some work I needed to have done to my Tahoe, $386 value.  I needed a weight distribution kit for my trailer, and a friend actually had one in storage that he gave to me.  That saved me over $500.   My kids were given gifts to entertain them on the road.  I mean, so many blessings have been poured out on us. 

Believe it or not, I have a tendency to worry about the details.  How is this going to work?  How are we going to make it?  Will we have enough?  And God shows me time and time again, “Son, I have got you covered.  I am taking care of you.”  He is parting the rivers of the Jordan so that we can walk through on dry ground. 

Thanks to everyone who has favored us with a blessing from God.  Your gift to us is no small thing.  In fact, I am coming to believe that there are no such things as “small things.”  I believe that everything done in the name of the Kingdom is a big deal.  There was a boy that gave only a small lunch, but it fed thousands.  There was a young man that only had a small sling, but it brought down a giant.  There was a general that had a small army, but it delivered Israel from the Midianites.  There was a man that had a small faith, but it healed his son.  God takes our “small things” and makes them mighty.  It all counts for the glory and honor of our great King.

And So It Begins

Today, we embark on our quest. Today we step into the water.  Today, we stop talking about the journey and start living it.  And God is going to do something absolutely amazing.  He must do something amazing, because He has promised to do so.

Today I call on the God of Abraham, Moses, David, Elijah, Daniel, Peter, and Paul, and I ask You to do it again.  Do for us what you did for them.  Unleash Your power, Your wisdom, Your provision.  God, I can't make this journey if you are not holding me every mile.  Guide us, lead us, protect us.  Perform miracles on our behalf.   We trust You, we love You, and we worship You.  Thank you for being ever faithful.

And so it begins...

A Fond Farewell

“Farewell, my brave hobbits.  My work is now finished.  Here at last on the shores of the sea comes the end of our fellowship.  I will not say ‘Do not weep.’  For not all tears are an evil.”

                                                                                                                                Gandalf, Return of the King

No matter how many times I have watched The Lord of the Rings (and it has been many times), I always break down at the end.  Gandalf and Frodo say farewell to their friends and board a ship, leaving behind middle earth and their dearest companions forever.  It’s beautiful, it’s poetic, and it tears me up.  I mean, I know that it’s coming, and I try to prepare for it.  But it doesn’t matter.  Gandalf starts talking, and the tears start flowing.  Yes, I know, I need to man-up, but that three minute clip stirs something deep inside of me.

I have pondered this for some time, and I think I know why my soul weeps as Gandalf and Frodo sail away to the undying lands.  I think it is the finality of it all.  Gandalf and Frodo will never again see their hobbit friends.  And that is not the way it is supposed to be.  We were not created for “Farewell.”  God intended us to live in fellowship, in communion with Him and with one another.  It was only after the fall of man that the loneliness and emptiness of separation became a part of the human experience.  And we all long for the day where “good-bye” no longer has to leave our lips.  One day, when King Jesus makes all things right, “farewell” will be a thing of the past. 

Until then, however, we will continue to weep bitter tears, and experience the sadness of loss as we say “good-bye” to those who are dear to us.  Tomorrow morning, we set out in pursuit of a dream that was birthed several years ago.  But tonight my thoughts are on those that we must leave behind, those who hold a special place in our hearts.  Allow me to speak to each of them directly:

Mom and Dad:  I am so thankful for the time that we had together.  It passed so quickly.  We love you very much, and look forward to the time that we can all be together again.

Steve and Robin:  I remember sitting in your living room shortly after we moved here, and you shared with us all of the things God was doing in your hearts.  I am so excited to see the journey that He has taken you on as you have had the courage to listen to His voice and follow His leading.  We admire you guys so much.  God has great plans for you.  Steve, thanks for letting me work for you when I first moved back here.  It was like old times.  We had a lot of fun; it really didn’t feel like work.  (Ok, it felt like work a little bit when we had to trim Charlie’s hedges.)

Keven and Christina:  God has placed a huge dream in your hearts, don’t ever let anyone or anything snatch it away.  Don’t ever lose your passion; it ignites a fire in the hearts of all of those who are around you.  Always remember that our Mighty Captain is faithful to do all that He has promised.  I am so proud of you guys.

Tim and Alicia:  Some of my favorite memories in South Carolina involve all of us sitting around my kitchen table and talking together, weeping together, laughing together.  You guys are so special to us.  I have seen you guys grow so much in the last two years, and the best is yet to come for you.  God has called you out; be strong and courageous, for the Lord is with you wherever you go.

David and Melissa: Thank you for the life of faith that you live out on a daily basis.  God will surely honor such a faith.  You guys have been a constant source of encouragement to us.  I will miss our late night dinners, especially your desserts.  You have an open invitation to come and cook for us anytime in Idaho.

Noah and Emily:  I have no doubt that God brought you to South Carolina for us.  We are stronger, our faith is greater, and our God is bigger because of you.

Chad and Jenny: I have seen our King do incredible things in you and through you, and I look forward to watching your journey unfold as you walk this road of faith with Him. 

Ben and Tabatha:  What can I say?  I just love you guys.  I am honored to call you my friends.  Thanks for everything. Ben, there is no one that I can talk to like I talk to you.  Thank you.  It means more than you know. God is up to something, and it is really, really big.  Get ready, because it’s coming.

Josh and Ashley: Sometimes, words fail me.  This is one of those times.  I have come to love you like family. “Thank you” does not even begin to convey my gratitude for all you have done for my family.   I see God awakening things in both of you.  Lean into it, and allow Him to do His perfect work in you.  You are so special to Him and to us.

Dear God, I pray a special blessing over each of our friends.  Hold them under the shadow of Your wing.  Give each of them the courage to play out their role in Your story, and the revelation to know what that role is.  Thank you for putting each of them in our path on this journey.  Watch over them and protect them until we see them again.  Amen.

Too Heavy

 I did something a couple of days ago that I probably should have done as soon as we had finished loading our trailer two weeks ago.  I hooked that trailer, filled with all my worldly possessions, to my boss’s work truck, and I drove it down to the local landfill to weigh it on their scales.  Now the manufacturer’s recommendation for the Tahoe is that the tow weight not exceed 6900 lbs.  So when I weighed the packed out trailer, the total weight was 9300 lbs.  I only exceeded the weight limit by 2400 lbs.  Oops.

Needless to say, I did not really feel comfortable driving across the country with that heavy of a load. And I knew that if I was going to reach my destination, end up where God wanted me to be, I was going to have to leave some “stuff” behind.   So a couple friends and I spent the evening unloading the trailer, and Crystal and I went through almost every box and tub, trying to determine what we could leave behind.  And I learned that shedding 2400 lbs is not easy.  We spent a couple of hours making some tough decisions.  What must we take?  What can we leave behind?  What are the most important things we want with us on this journey?  What can easily be replaced after we arrive?

So the next morning, we reloaded my trailer, laying aside the weight that would hinder us. Of course, this whole episode got me to thinking about how many of us are weighed down by loads we are not meant to be carrying.  Loads that hinder us from accomplishing God’s perfect plan for us.

I am absolutely convinced that God has a very personal and specific purpose for each of us, a mission for us to accomplish for the kingdom.  But we cannot fully pursue God and His purpose if we are weighed down.

For some, the weights are internal things we carry deep inside ourselves.  Doubt, fear, guilt, shame.  These are powerful, fiery darts in the enemy’s arsenal.  He hurls them at us with all the hatred and vengeance he can muster.  He takes all of our hurts, failures, misunderstandings, mistakes, etc., and lays them before us again and again, as if to say, “This is who you really are!” And many become casualties of war by listening to his vicious lies. 

This is why we are to take up the shield of faith and the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.  God’s Word tells a much different story about who you are.  You see, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature.  Old things are passed away all things are new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)  According to God, you are valuable, significant, holy, justified, righteous, powerful, and complete.  You are a prince/princess, a warrior, an ambassador, salt, light, and a citizen of heaven.  Christ has granted us forgiveness, healing, hope, freedom, purpose, and a future. (Just pull out a concordance and see what the Bible says about all of these things.)

 The enemy knows this and hates it.  He also knows your potential and fears it.  So he will spew his lies in order to steal kill and destroy all that God has for you.  My suggestion: let it go.  Drop the lies that you have believed for so long.  Realize what God says about you.  And swing that Sword at the devil, and he will have to flee.  By the way, do not be afraid to get some outside help with this if you need it. 

Other weights come from outside sources that we allow to control us.  More specifically, I am talking about all the things that compete for our time and energy: work, little league, play groups, church, ballet lessons, extended family, church, bowling league, unexpected phone calls, piano recitals, church.

I know way too many people that allow others to set their agenda, instead of seeking God and asking Him what they need to be doing.  I know I mentioned church three times in my list, and that was not an accident.  I have seen far too many Christ followers get burned out simply because they do not know how to say “no” to the Sunday school director, or the choir leader, or the nursery coordinator, or the youth pastor, or the chairman of the welcoming committee, or the Awana commander, or the head usher, or Sister Eunice’s bake club, or whatever other ministry has been created to be a “blessing” to others.  Let me say this as nicely as possible: Every ministry leader that approaches you about helping in their ministry has an agenda.  They have positions to fill, and you will help them get that job done.  And with very few exceptions, they are not concerned about your time, your abilities, your talents, or your God-given calling.  All they know is that you are breathing, and you can help them meet their quota.

I know this sounds harsh, but very few of them are actually looking out for you.  So guess what?  You have to look out for you.  Let me tell you how to keep from getting trapped into doing something that you do not want to do (whether at church or any other venue). 

First of all, seek God and find out what HE wants you to do. Again, I am convinced that God has a perfect plan for your life.  And He has created you with built-in talents, abilities, and desires to accomplish His mission. 

Secondly, if you are presented with an opportunity that does not line up with God’s purpose for you, simply say, “No, that is not what God is calling me to do at this time.”  Remember not every open door is from God, and just because something is “good” does not mean that it is God’s best for you.

Now if you are not sure about an opportunity, take some time to pray about it.  When God answers, act accordingly.

Finally, stand your ground.  Some of these ministry leaders  are very persistent.  They will come back, especially as their deadline approaches and they grow desperate.  Many will seek to “guilt” you into service.  Don’t cave.  Be strong and very courageous for the Lord is with you.

Now don’t get me wrong.  This is not an excuse for you to say no to everything; we are called to serve.  What I am saying is this:  Don’t get so busy meeting others’ agendas that you miss out on the mission that God has set before you.  Release any and every weight, whether internal or external, that will keep you from following your life’s purpose.

By the way, my trailer is totally reloaded, and I am still a little too heavy.  So I am headed out to release some more weight.  I do not want anything to keep me from reaching my destination.

Three Promises Part 3: For Such a Time As This

Frodo:                   I wish the ring had never come to me.  I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf:               So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide.  All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

                                                                                                                                Fellowship of the Ring

I cannot even count how many times this conversation between Frodo and Gandalf has permeated my thoughts.  I understand how Frodo must of felt.  Fate had sent him on a mission that He would not have chosen for himself.  He was stuck in a place that he did not want to be.  He had enemies seeking to destroy him.  He did not know what the outcome of his quest would be.  No wonder he felt the way he did.

 But Gandalf in all of his wisdom understood what Frodo did not:  We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond to it.  Spiritually speaking, we cannot choose God’s calling on our lives, but we choose how we answer that call.

I love, though, how Gandalf states it, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us.”  Ah, time.  How precious this gift is.  For we know not how much of it we have, and once it has escaped our grip, we can never lay our hands on it again.  So we have to make the most of the time given to us!

When we moved to South Carolina, I honestly thought I’d live here for 3 to 6 months.  That was over two and a half years ago.  And now that we are leaving this place in just a couple of days, I feel like I have no time.  Where did it go?

One thing that I know for sure is that God has worked mightily in these two and a half years.  He has grown and stretched us, and taken our faith to a whole new level.  He led us to a counselor, who helped us find some much needed healing.  He allowed me to revisit my past, confront it, and move passed it.  We have forged some lifelong relationships with people who have lifted us up in prayer, encouraged us, and walked alongside us in this journey.  We desperately needed this time as preparation before our “Quest for Eleutheria.”

But I would also like to think that our being here has made a difference in the lives of others.  God told us before we came that he would give us opportunities to help others while we were here, but I really didn’t know what He had in mind.  In fact, my attitude was this: “Okay, Lord, show me what I must do, so that I can do it and hit the road.”  I’m sure He just shook His head, and thought, “Boy, you have no idea.”

Well, as we began reconnecting with old friends and meeting new ones, I found that my story resonated with many of them, and that their stories resonated with me.  Just like the dear people in Traverse City, these folks were searching for more.  Some of them needed to find healing.  A few were in bondage to sin and needed to be led to freedom.  Others were discovering in their own spirits that there was more to the Christian life than what they were currently experiencing, but they really did not know which direction to take in order to find it. 

When someone began to share their life’s journey with me, I knew that God was up to something really big, and that He had brought us here for such a time as this. He has given us so many opportunities to help people navigate through some pretty rough waters.  A man paralyzed by doubt and fear because of a deeply rooted father wound.  A couple burned out by ministry.  A man who needs to be delivered from the bondage of pornography.  A couple trying to break the bonds of legalism.  Each one with a story.  Each one finding deliverance through Christ.  It is amazing and humbling.   Nothing, absolutely nothing, excites me more than helping someone discover freedom, than leading someone down the path that leads to a more abundant life.  I would not have traded this time for anything.

Thank you, God, for sending us here.  Thank you for the mighty work you have done in us, and the mighty work you have done in the lives of others through us. Thank you for the promises that you gave us when we moved here.  I am so glad that you sent the “ring” to me, and help me make the most of the time given to me.

Double Minded

When someone makes a comment about how much they admire our faith, I really want to say to them, “You don’t know the half of it, literally.”  You see about half the time, my resolve is strong, my faith is secure, and my determination is steadfast.  The other half of the time, not so much. 

This truly is a journey of faith.  God has done so much, but frankly, we need to see Him do more.  So I find myself playing the “what if…” game.  What if we need to wait longer?  What if we run out of money before we get there?  What if I don’t have the funds to secure a house to rent or start my business?  (Phase 1 of the master plan is to start a window cleaning business.)  What if God doesn’t provide?  What if my Tahoe dies while pulling this heavy trailer all over the country?  What if this really isn’t my dream?  What if this is not God speaking at all?  What if?  What if?  What if?

I mean, I am uprooting my kids (again), taking them away from their friends (again), starting over (again), all because I believe that God put a dream in my heart and has said that now is the time to go.  What if I am wrong?  Then what?  Just today a good friend asked me if I was sure that I did not want to stay and flip just one more house.  How tempting.  It would definitely solidify our finances.  Why not wait?

Well here’s what I know.  Every time I pray for wisdom and direction, the Holy Spirit, our Teacher and Guide, reiterates again, “Go, and I will be with you.  I will provide what you need.” 

When I pick up God’s Word, He shows me the same thing.  Let me give you just one example.  I have been studying the book of Joshua lately.  I have also been reading two books that both referenced a particular event that took place in Joshua.  The children of Israel were getting ready to cross the Jordan River to begin their conquest of the Promised Land.  God promised that He would part the waters of the Jordan for His people to cross, but only after the priests, carrying the ark of the covenant, step into the water. God had provided for them on numerous occasions, had performed countless miracles on their behalf, but now they needed another one.  And God wanted them to exercise their faith before the miracle.  God said to me, “This is how I am going to do it for you. I have provided for you.  I have met your needs, and now I want you to take a leap of faith. Do you trust Me enough to step into the water before you have all the answers?  Before you have all that you need for the journey?”

So when I pray and seek God’s Word, I hear, “Go.”  When I lean on my own understanding, I think maybe I should possibly wait.  The other thing is this, when I set my mind to go, I have peace, a peace that passes understanding.  When I think about waiting, no peace.  So I am still nervous, scared even.  But I choose to trust in the Lord and allow Him to direct my paths.

Author Mark Batterson says that when you step out on faith, it is not your reputation on the line, but God’s.  He is the One who is bound by His promises, and He will come through.  So when I am double minded, my new prayer is simply this:  Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief.