Our Part in This Tale

Yesterday, I was watching The Lord of the Rings, (yes, again!) and as Frodo was narrating, he said something that slapped me right upside the head.  “Bilbo once told me his part in this tale would end…”  Now, there are many statements in these movies that I find extremely profound, but this one had never really caught my attention before, until yesterday.  I skipped back to hear it again, “…his part in this tale would end…” 

You see, there is a great tale that has been unfolding since before the beginning of time.  And it has included every element that makes a great story: good vs. evil, romance, betrayal, wars, friendships, chivalry, deception, unlikely heroes, adventure, danger, hopelessness, sacrifice, deliverance, redemption, magic. It truly is amazing.  But here’s the coolest part: the Author saw fit to write you and me into that tale.  Not as casual observers, but with crucial roles to play.  I am not sure why He chose this place in the story to drop us into the saga, but here we are.  Some of you got here before me, others after, but we are all here right now, and thus the Author has a purpose behind it.

But this is what really got to me yesterday: our part in this tale will end.  My part will end. And here is the crazy part:  I know when it began-February 28^th, 1977.  And I know that I am still in the tale for now, but I have no idea whatsoever when my part in this tale will end.  It could be this week, or maybe next year.  Possibly, and hopefully, 60 years from now.  But it will end.  After all, our lives are but a vapor that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away.  This isn’t meant to be morbid, but is meant to be sobering.

God has placed each of us here for only a short time to do whatever it is He wants us to do.  Do we spend our days in hot pursuit of doing it?  Or have we allowed the cares of this world to distract our attentions?  Work, comfort, pleasures, fear, entertainment, security…you name it, and it has tripped up many a warrior who at one time set out to conquer this world for our great King.  And they come to the end of their part of the story, and frankly, there isn’t much to tell.  Their story is a tragedy.

But there are others, I am glad to say, who have discovered their purpose, have set their eyes on the prize, have drawn their swords, and are in hot pursuit of making sure that their time here is not wasted.  They are the modern day heroes in this story.  They are the ones who will have some great stories to tell after all the battles have been won and our foe meets his final doom.  They are the ones who will hear “Well Done, good and faithful servant.”

I really don’t know what makes the difference between the two groups.  Perhaps to the former, the spiritual realm seems more like a fairytale than reality.  Or maybe they haven’t seen themselves as significant players in this epic adventure.  In either case, they have failed to grab hold to the truth of what God’s Word says about this story and about them as characters in it.  Oh, that their eyes would be opened.

I desire to put my lot in with the latter group, those who live in a greater reality than what can be unveiled by the five senses.  Those who want to live for something eternal, who want their lives to count for something big.  Those who understand that their part in this tale will end, and they live to make sure that when it is all said and done, their part in the story is worth hearing about.

My Wife and Kids

(Written on Tuesday, August 14th)

My wife left us a week ago.  No, not for good.  On Tuesday, we received news that her grandfather passed away in Michigan.  Crystal really wanted to be there for her parents during this difficult time, so we bought a plane ticket online, and the next morning she flew out of Spokane.  It was a day filled with mixed emotions for all of us.  Crystal wanted to be with her family, but she did not want to leave us.  The kids and I really wanted her to be with her family, but we did not want her to leave us either.  A lot of tears were shed as she made her way to the plane, and we made our way back to the vehicle.  More tears were shed that night when she called before bedtime.

But it has been a really good week.  The kids and I have watched movies, played card games, stayed up late, gone shopping, ordered pizza.  We have had fun. Someone said to me in the store, “So you’re Mr. Mom this week?” I smiled graciously, but what I should have said was, “No, I am being dad!”  I don’t know where we got this idea that the care of the children’s needs rests solely on mom’s shoulders.  Sometimes I hear a guy say that he babysit the kids so that his wife could go shopping or out with the girls, and I think, “You’re not a baby sitter, you’re their father.  Man up!”

But that being said, let me say that over this past week I can see how much of an impact my wife has had on the lives of our children.  Mainly, because they have been easy.  My children are so good, so responsible, so kind to each other.  And that is because of the presence of an absolutely incredible lady that pours time and energy into them.  I have seen a little bit of her in each of them this week, and it has made me appreciate and love her all the more. 

Not only is Crystal an amazing mom, but she is also my best friend and most constant companion.  She is my advisor, cheerleader, prayer warrior, fellow soldier, teacher, and inspiration.  And talking to her on the phone just isn’t quite the same as looking into those beautiful blue eyes and seeing that great big smile.  And holding that phone just isn’t the same as holding her.  Yeah, I’ve missed her…a lot.   

We have counted down the days that Crystal returns to us, and I am so excited to say that in less than three hours we will be picking her up at the airport.  We will welcome her home with signs and flowers.  There will be hugs, kisses, laughter…and maybe even a few tears.

Always

Ok, first of all, please accept my deepest apologies.  I know that it has been two and a half weeks since my last post.  So much has happened since we have arrived in Idaho that I have barely had time to catch my breath.  That being said, I can tell you that I have been on a roller coaster ride emotionally since we arrived here.  I have been scared, excited, disappointed, angry, relaxed, anxious, peaceful, lonely, content, grateful, and empty…many times all in the same day.  And through it all, I have seen God provide in ways that I could not have foreseen or even begun to imagine.

On Thursday, July 20^th, as we descended the hill and rounded the curve on I-90, we caught our first glimpse of Lake Coeur d’Alene.  My first thought was, “Huh, I thought the water would be bluer.”  I got off on exit 15, and I had no idea where I was going, but the street led me to downtown.  As I drove around, I must say that it was not at all what I had expected.  The feeling of euphoria that I thought would reverberate through my body was not there.  I waited for it, but it never showed up.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a very nice town, but I just did not feel what I wanted to feel.  Of course, not knowing where anything was did not help my state of mind either.

We found a state park about thirty minutes south of town to camp at for the weekend.  Now, the drive to that place was beautiful.  Mountains on either side gave way to rolling farm pastures.  I began to picture my ranch sitting on one of those hills, and I began to get excited.  However, the excitement was short lived, because the reality of life was beginning to settle in with me.  The road trip family vacation was over, and I now had to figure out how I was going to provide for my family in this strange land. My wife’s family was still with us, which I found very comforting. 

But I still had some decisions to make.  I knew what God had promised us, that He would provide and take care of us, that He was leading us and would bless our obedience.  But this road trip had left me with little money in my pockets, barely enough to rent a house, and surely not enough to start my window cleaning business.  In my mind, my greatest dread about moving here was beginning to play out before me.  I was going to have to get two or three jobs, making very little money, in order to scrape by.  I have done that before as a youth pastor and as a pastor in small ministries.  And I surely did not want to start my new adventure in Idaho doing that, but I saw no other way.

On Saturday afternoon, Crystal, knowing the turmoil going on inside of me, told me to go for a walk down one of the trails at the campground and hash it out with God.  As I walked along the edge of the lake, I asked God what I should do, and he told me to call a friend of mine back home and present him with a business opportunity.  And so I did.  Actually, I sent him a text.  All I said was, “Hey, I have a business proposal for you.”  After few more texts and a couple of phone calls, my friend became an investor in the window cleaning business.  His investment allowed me to rent a house, furnish it, get everything I needed to start the business, and pay the bills until the business is up and going.  I felt so honored when he said, “I am not investing in window cleaning, I am investing in you.”

On Monday, we found a campsite closer to town, and began the process of finding a house.  We filled out an application for a house on Tuesday, planning to move in the next day.  So Wednesday came, and my in-laws left to go back to Michigan.  As they pulled off, a huge sense of loneliness permeated my being.  I mean, we were, after all, alone.  But I also knew that getting into a house would bring some normality back to our lives. 

“Your application has been denied.”  That was the call we got from the property management company.  “Even though you have money in the bank, the home owners are concerned that you do not have a steady income.”  So back to square one.  I was so disappointed, not because I loved the house.  I mean, it was a fine house, but it was nothing special.  I was upset because it meant more time looking, more time before we could get settled, more time before I could concentrate on my business.   I guess I was a little frustrated that God didn’t just take care of it for us.

And then we saw an ad on craigslist for a house, and the pictures were awesome.  Crystal called on it, and the realtor told us that the other tenants were still living in it, and that their lease was not up until the end of August, but that they might be able to move out a little early.  Well, I ruled it out immediately.  I told Crystal that there was no way we were going to camp out for another month, or even two or three weeks.  Crystal said that we should at least look at it.  And so we did, and we all loved it.  The agent said that the tenants could be out in less than a week.  We filled out the application, and  were approved.  So after camping out for a few more nights, on Tuesday, the 31^st, we moved into an absolutely beautiful house.  God said “no” to something decent in order to say “yes” to something wonderful.  (And silly me was frustrated.)

Meanwhile, during this time I have been preparing for the business; getting licensing, buying uniforms, ordering equipment, etc.  By the end of this week, I should be ready for business. We are also becoming acclimated to the area, and every day, we discover something else that we like about it.  The people here are extremely friendly, and the landscape really is beautiful.  I am so glad that we are here.

That is the last couple of weeks in a nutshell.  God is so amazing in all of the different ways He provides for us.  Sometimes, He simply gives us what we need. Sometimes He speaks to us, and tells us what we must do to get what we need.  Sometimes He gives us the ability and the means to accomplish the thing we need.  And sometimes He says “no” to what we think we need, so that He can give us what we really need.  No matter what way He chooses to provide, one thing is constant: He does always provide!