Always

Ok, first of all, please accept my deepest apologies.  I know that it has been two and a half weeks since my last post.  So much has happened since we have arrived in Idaho that I have barely had time to catch my breath.  That being said, I can tell you that I have been on a roller coaster ride emotionally since we arrived here.  I have been scared, excited, disappointed, angry, relaxed, anxious, peaceful, lonely, content, grateful, and empty…many times all in the same day.  And through it all, I have seen God provide in ways that I could not have foreseen or even begun to imagine.

On Thursday, July 20^th, as we descended the hill and rounded the curve on I-90, we caught our first glimpse of Lake Coeur d’Alene.  My first thought was, “Huh, I thought the water would be bluer.”  I got off on exit 15, and I had no idea where I was going, but the street led me to downtown.  As I drove around, I must say that it was not at all what I had expected.  The feeling of euphoria that I thought would reverberate through my body was not there.  I waited for it, but it never showed up.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a very nice town, but I just did not feel what I wanted to feel.  Of course, not knowing where anything was did not help my state of mind either.

We found a state park about thirty minutes south of town to camp at for the weekend.  Now, the drive to that place was beautiful.  Mountains on either side gave way to rolling farm pastures.  I began to picture my ranch sitting on one of those hills, and I began to get excited.  However, the excitement was short lived, because the reality of life was beginning to settle in with me.  The road trip family vacation was over, and I now had to figure out how I was going to provide for my family in this strange land. My wife’s family was still with us, which I found very comforting. 

But I still had some decisions to make.  I knew what God had promised us, that He would provide and take care of us, that He was leading us and would bless our obedience.  But this road trip had left me with little money in my pockets, barely enough to rent a house, and surely not enough to start my window cleaning business.  In my mind, my greatest dread about moving here was beginning to play out before me.  I was going to have to get two or three jobs, making very little money, in order to scrape by.  I have done that before as a youth pastor and as a pastor in small ministries.  And I surely did not want to start my new adventure in Idaho doing that, but I saw no other way.

On Saturday afternoon, Crystal, knowing the turmoil going on inside of me, told me to go for a walk down one of the trails at the campground and hash it out with God.  As I walked along the edge of the lake, I asked God what I should do, and he told me to call a friend of mine back home and present him with a business opportunity.  And so I did.  Actually, I sent him a text.  All I said was, “Hey, I have a business proposal for you.”  After few more texts and a couple of phone calls, my friend became an investor in the window cleaning business.  His investment allowed me to rent a house, furnish it, get everything I needed to start the business, and pay the bills until the business is up and going.  I felt so honored when he said, “I am not investing in window cleaning, I am investing in you.”

On Monday, we found a campsite closer to town, and began the process of finding a house.  We filled out an application for a house on Tuesday, planning to move in the next day.  So Wednesday came, and my in-laws left to go back to Michigan.  As they pulled off, a huge sense of loneliness permeated my being.  I mean, we were, after all, alone.  But I also knew that getting into a house would bring some normality back to our lives. 

“Your application has been denied.”  That was the call we got from the property management company.  “Even though you have money in the bank, the home owners are concerned that you do not have a steady income.”  So back to square one.  I was so disappointed, not because I loved the house.  I mean, it was a fine house, but it was nothing special.  I was upset because it meant more time looking, more time before we could get settled, more time before I could concentrate on my business.   I guess I was a little frustrated that God didn’t just take care of it for us.

And then we saw an ad on craigslist for a house, and the pictures were awesome.  Crystal called on it, and the realtor told us that the other tenants were still living in it, and that their lease was not up until the end of August, but that they might be able to move out a little early.  Well, I ruled it out immediately.  I told Crystal that there was no way we were going to camp out for another month, or even two or three weeks.  Crystal said that we should at least look at it.  And so we did, and we all loved it.  The agent said that the tenants could be out in less than a week.  We filled out the application, and  were approved.  So after camping out for a few more nights, on Tuesday, the 31^st, we moved into an absolutely beautiful house.  God said “no” to something decent in order to say “yes” to something wonderful.  (And silly me was frustrated.)

Meanwhile, during this time I have been preparing for the business; getting licensing, buying uniforms, ordering equipment, etc.  By the end of this week, I should be ready for business. We are also becoming acclimated to the area, and every day, we discover something else that we like about it.  The people here are extremely friendly, and the landscape really is beautiful.  I am so glad that we are here.

That is the last couple of weeks in a nutshell.  God is so amazing in all of the different ways He provides for us.  Sometimes, He simply gives us what we need. Sometimes He speaks to us, and tells us what we must do to get what we need.  Sometimes He gives us the ability and the means to accomplish the thing we need.  And sometimes He says “no” to what we think we need, so that He can give us what we really need.  No matter what way He chooses to provide, one thing is constant: He does always provide!